Numb
by HPGirl13
Summary: This a songfic based on the song "Numb" by Linkin Park. Harry and Draco begin to have a friendship and then a friendship becomes something more. But Draco has some problems involving his father that effect the Relationship.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and CO.

A/N: Hey ya'll! This is my new fic. It's been awhile since my last couple of fics that I just kinda abandoned but this one I put a lot of time and effort into this one. I know this one won't be discontinued. I planned it out like I should have done with the other ones. Anywho, this is a songfic based on Linkin Park "Numb." I didn't write this song. They did and I am giving them full credit for it since it is theirs. Read and Review. Please!

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Bold words are lyrics

Prologue 

He hit me. More than once. More than twice. More than a couple of times. He hit me everyday, every night. It was like it never stopped. It all happened just because I wasn't what he wanted me to be.

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I'm tired of being

What you want me to be

I was lost, trapped in a world where I couldn't be myself. I had lost all faith that I would get out.

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Feeling so faithless

Lost under the surface

I didn't know what he wanted me to be. All I knew was I was not it. I felt pressure to become a death eater, just like him. I had to be just like him. I couldn't get out it of. I was stuck. I felt like I could never do anything right.

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I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in your shoes

(caught in the undertow

Just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is

Another mistake to you.

I can't feel anymore. I have no feelings. Love, sadness, mad, those feelings don't exist anymore. I can't feel. I don't think I want to anymore. All I will get is pain and suffering.

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I've

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

I don't want to be like him. I want to be me. I want to be myself.

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I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

I don't want to be you!


	2. See into his soul

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to Harry Potter.**

Chapter 1: See inside to his soul

Flashback

"Father" I cried out as he whipped me on my bacj with his whip. 

"Now, now, Draco. Don't show that you're in pain." a cold voice, that I knew too well, said. It was my father, Lucius Malfoy. Everyone knew who he was. Everyone knew what a cold man he was.

He struck me in the back again. I winced.

"Draco. I'm tired of doing this. The more you show that you're in pain, the harder I whip." he said and whipped harder. I tried really hard not to wince but it was hard. He did it again and again. I kept wincing. Soon I was crying. 

"You're lucky my arm is tired and I want to go to bed." he said as he put his whip down. He walked to the door.

"It saddens me that I have as weak a son as you." he said and walked out.

I stayed on the floor of the study. My back ached. It hurt so bad. I didn't even want to know what it looked like. I started to cry again. It wasn't the first time he hit but it was never that bad. I cried and cried. I feel asleep in a pile on the floor.

End of flashback 

When I think about that day, I smile. I was so naïve and thought that he wouldn't hurt me anymore. Then I stop smiling because I remember how bad he hurt me. I snap out of my walking down memory lane and remember where I am . 

"Draco, honey, I hope you have a wonderful time at Hogwarts and I cant wait until Christmas for your return." mother said in between kisses on my face.

"Narcissa, give the boy room to breath. Have a good time, son. Be good." father said. I nodded and gave a small wave to my mother and walked to the train. 

I got on the train and sat in the nearest empty compartment, hoping that Crabbe and Goyle would not find me. Unfortunely, minutes later after I sat down they came strolling in.

"Draco! How great to see you! How was your summer?!" Crabbe asked excitedly. I raised my eyebrows. Why was Crabbe so excited.

"Why are you so excited?" I asked him as him and Goyle sat down. They were sitting very very close. I opened my mouth a little finally understanding. They both blushed. "You two are together?" 

They nodded, blushing even more. I smirked. I knew Crabbe had liked Goyle since like 2nd year. I had no idea that Goyle liked Crabbe.

"I think its great. Really." I said. They smiled at each other. They were happy together. I could tell. I was truly happy for my best friends. At least they were happy, even though I wasn't.

The train started to move, and they just sat there batting their eyes at each other until they remembered I was in the compartment. It didn't mind. I didn't feel like talking. Crabbe was just about to open his mouth, but instead someone else's voice was heard.

"Malfoy." I turned to look who was talking. It was Weasley with Potter and that Mudblood by his side.

"What do you want, Weasley?" I asked him not wanting him to ruin my content mood. I looked at Potter and he had his head held down.

"There are no more compartments. We have to share." he snapped at me. 

"Fine, as long as you don't talk." he seemed surprised when I said this. It didn't care and I wasn't about to let them sit no where.

"Fine." he mumbled and they sat down. He then looked at Crabbe and Goyle and had this disgusted look on his face.

"You got a problem, Weasley?" I asked him.

"Actually I do. Since when has Crabbe and Goyle been _fags._" he spat the last word like it was venom. I was so mad. I stood up and so did Weasley.

"Shut up, Weasley. If anyone should have a problem it should be us because we have a dumbass redhead who smells like shit in our compartment. With a dirty Mudblood." I said. I didn't dare mention Potter. I could tell he was having some issues and I know what that's like. I didn't see Weasley take a swing at me and I feel to the ground. Crabbe and Goyle were going for him while Granger and Potter were pulling Weasley out of the compartment. I held Crabbe and Goyle back from smashing Weasley's face in. 

Potter caught my eye and he mouthed the word 'sorry'. I looked in his eyes and I felt like I could see everything inside his soul. He was broken. I could tell and he could tell I could tell. I nodded to him and they left.


	3. Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and CO.

Chapter 2: Friends

The rest of the train ride went by without incident. We were all quiet for the rest of the way. I felt a little bad for losing my temper. Just like my father. But I am better than him. I didn't beat Ron like I could have even after he hit me. 

When we got to Hogwarts, I didn't want to go the Welcoming Feast. I just felt like going to my room and sleeping. I haven't gotten a decent's nights sleep all summer. But I knew I had to go. Crabbe and Goyle would be worried about me and I didn't want anyone to worry about me.

We sat down at the Slytherin table and I looked at the Grffyindor table while the 1st years went to the front of the Great Hall. Thank god Ron's back was to me otherwise, he would have jumped over the table to get to me. But I could see Harry's face. He looked content but I knew that inside he was breaking. That he was already broken.

He looked up and our eyes met. We just held that glaze for a long time. I couldn't help but think he had beautiful eyes. They were the most beautiful emerald eyes I had ever seen. They shined even through his glasses. I couldn't help but smile. He looked at me strangely and I stopped. I was so embarrassed that I thought he had beautiful eyes that I turned my attention to the front of the Great Hall.

Harry's Pov

When he smiled at me I could feel my heart jump. When did this happen? When did I start liking him looking at me with those beautiful grey eyes? Oh, so now their beautiful? I was so confused. I think that I was just happy that someone was paying attention to me. Yeah that's it. 

When he turned away, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. What the hell was my problem? I turned my attention to the front and tried not to think of Draco.

After all the 1st years were sorted the feast began. I wasn't very hungry.

"Harry, is everything alright?" Hermione asked with a worried expression on her face. I smiled weakly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just not hungry. I think I might go to bed early." I said and got up. Hermione nodded and I don't even think Ron noticed I left.

Instead of going to the dormitory, I went to the lake. The lake has always helped me sort out my thoughts. I sat with my back against a tree and thought.

My life was turned upside down this summer. There was lies, deceit, torture. It would have made a good book. This summer I cried so much that I didn't think it was possible to cry again. Dealing with Sirius's death was hard. Very hard.

I always blamed myself for things that I know I shouldn't have. Sirius's death, things that happened over the summer, basically everything. I thought I didn't deserve to live. As I sat by the tree I began to cry. I didn't even hear him sit next to me.

Draco's Pov

I left dinner early because I wanted to clear my head. I went to the lake because I always went there when I needed to think. When I got there I saw Potter sitting by a tree. He looked like he was crying. I had no idea what to do. Did I leave? Did I try and talk to him? I decided to sit next to him and see what he did. 

When I sat down he looked up to me. I could see his tear streaked face. He was gorgeous. Even when he was cry he was gorgeous. He wiped away his tear and turned away from me. I didn't know what to do. 

"Hey, Potter" was all I could think of to say.

"Malfoy." he said. His voice sounded hoarse. He cleared his throat. 

"Want to talk about it?" I asked him. I was hoping he would say no. I was not good with helping people 

"With you?" he said. I was hurt. I thought he knew that I understood something was wrong. Then I thought I wouldn't talk to me if I was him either.

"I know that I haven't given you a reason to trust me. I was just trying to help you out." I said. For some reason I didn't get up.

"Thanks, Malfoy." he said. We just sat there without talking to one another. Just looking at the lake. I wondered what happened to him. I knew he would never talk to me about it. We sat for about an hour before one of us spoke.

"So Crabbe and Goyle are together?" he asked me. I though this was weird. We sat there for an hour an d he asks me about Crabbe and Goyle.

"Yeah. Shocked to hear it, myself." I said.

"It is kind of strange." he said and we sat another minute without talking. "Malfoy, why is it that we fight?" he asked me.

"I don't know, Potter." I said and left it at that. I really didn't know. Ok, that's a lie. It was because I had too. Because of my father. 

"We should stop." he said matter-of-factly. I kind of laughed at that.

"There's a lot of things we _should do_, Potter. That doesn't mean we do though." I said to him. 

"I want to stop, Malfoy. I want us to be friends." he said to me. I was alittle surprised. Should be friends with Potter or should reject him like he rejected me? I looked at him.

"OK, Potter." I said. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.


End file.
